Thursday, April 12, 2007

A glance or two. Or ten.

today: strangely intense, elongated, repeated glances captured from across the room. With Ryan. No words actually exchanged until hours later, but I was sure to let him see me watching him. I know, I have issues. I almost feel trapped. Trapped by...

It's as if the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle are falling into place, but not in a murder mystery kind of way. I feel like this thing has been here for years, and maybe I'm just coming to terms with it now. Maybe it's just time. Maybe I don't feel trapped, but simply bound. Bound to him, in some strange way, and even more, bound to myself.

It's like Fred says in Breakfast at Tiffany's:

"Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself. "
infinite xs and os,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

sounds pretty serious. You should try doing something about it.