I think.

If I do like Ryan, what does this mean?
He wouldn't have said "I love you"... he's not a touchy feely guy that throws that around. He wouldn't have said "I love you."
So what does this mean?
I want desperately to just know when someone is interested in me.
I usually do... except that when I like them, there's no real way for me to figure it out. To add to the confusion, my heart's telling me one thing, and my mind is telling me another. This reminds me of The Little Prince. (ah, what doesn't?)
You can only see clearly with your heart.
and makes me want to believe:
"the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
(yes I watched moulin rouge yesterday)
But I do love him...
not in a romantic way, maybe, as his sister at worst (or at best, I'm not sure right now.) Because he's always here when I need him.

I think we could be good for eachother.
I think we could be really very happy together.
And I think... I don't know... just, maybe...

and now, I'm not sure, because my head and heart are perched on either of my shoulders.
and my head is telling me, "Absolutly not! This is absurd. You can't have feelings for him."
and my heart is saying, "You've liked him for so long. Admit it!! You've liked him for months, underneath the surface of all things Jon-ness, and you liked him three years ago, and you liked him six years ago, so why aren't you admitting this, Sophie? You want him. And regardless of whether or not you end up together, you need him, too."
And Callie's voice is echoing in my head, "Just go up to him and say, 'So here's the deal: I find you incredibly attractive." and walk away.
And...

Until Next Post,
infinite xs and os,
Sophie